A life shared, happy healthy kids and a contribution

I dream of having a true partner in life, financial independence to give me time to be involved deeply in my kids lives while they are young,to raise them to be happy, healthy individuals that value themselves, to do meaningful work and to give back to the community.

I grew up a lonely child with an overpowering parent and a distant one, and always imagined having a true partner to go through life by my side, to love me and when need be, to protect and defend me. Maybe at one time I wanted a hero, but that has evolved.

I dated around a lot and moulded myself into the partner for that person in hopes of it being permanent. Sometimes I tried to mould them to my ideals, too. I finally thought I had that commitment but it was not with someone who was built for partnership.

I had done more moulding of myself and tried to with him. Now I have experienced great loss and trying times in life, both personally and in my career. I am remaining strong as I have 2 beautiful children to raise.

Now I want companionship, support, balance, contribution, family, laughter, adventure and love, in smaller everyday ways is fine for my life now. I want to give this to my children, give this to another person, and also experience for myself.

I'm not sure if my dream should be loftier, more specific, or not involve another person, but if I'm being honest this is what it is and always has been.