Letter from the Heart

by Giulia
(Paris, France)

My name's Giulia and I was born on September 21st of the year 1997, not so far from Paris. I've been raised in a loving family, with two sisters (I'm the middle one).

My big sister is three years older than me and my younger sister is about two years and a half younger than me. My mother was a beautician and my father a cook. I was a shy child but I had as many friends as any little girl could have.

My mom got sick from breast cancer when I was about six years old. I remember an old woman baby-sitting me and my sisters when my dad was working. I grew up with a sick mother, she was doing her best to raise us, she was devoted.

Besides her daughters, she also was taking care of herself, curing herself. She wanted to fight against the disease because she did not want us to lose our mother. She had lost her mom at 14 in a car accident. She's got cured eventually.

In about 2007, my dad opened his own restaurant with his brother, his wife and the help of his mom, a family affair. I don't know the entire story but they actually got issues because of official papers and this stuff. Therefore, my dad got alcoholic and had drug problems - which I absolutely didn't know at this time.

My mom saved him by getting him into a detoxification program center. The restaurant has been sold. During this time, my big sister wasn't doing well. She often changed schools and even lived a year in Italy at my grandparent's.

By this time, my mom got cured, I was at school and I had a classmate, she was my best friend's best friend. This girl was touched by some kind of cancer. My mom got closer to her family because of this, she supported her.

Unfortunately, she died at nine years old, leaving her family, of whom one was her twin. I still know her twin-brother today, and he reminds me of her so much.

In 2009, I was in my first year in junior cycle (French system education) when my mom took me apart an afternoon and she told me she was sick again, but she was going to be cured! And I absolutely remember her telling me that I had to work at school for myself etc.

I received this year the prize of worthy students. My dad was working hard in a new restaurant to get enough money since my mother couldn't work. And sometimes it was very difficult to hear my parents fight especially because my mom's medicines certainly had an effect on her emotions and feelings etc.

Every summer since my sister was about twelve (when my dad started having his addictions), she went two months in Italy whereas me and my younger sister only went to my grandfather's in the West south of France. I was a bit jealous at the time (because I only went in Italy when I was 12, 15 and probably a few times as a baby).

After that, my mom got cured once again! She worked as a beautician again for a bit but she couldn't work entire days. I grew up with my mother almost always at home so it was weird for me to go at friends homes with no parents there after school.

When I was 13, I became a fan of Justin Bieber. I started going on social media and I loved it! I lost friends with time and I can't really explain. I stopped being a "good student", I was working less. I focused on music. I dreamed of meeting my idols.

I went to some concerts, I wrote and read a lot etc. I even ended up leaving my best friend for no special reason. At this time, I had no real friends. My mom got sick for the third time and we started having money problems.

First of all, I had no one to talk to about my problems and then I was feeling bad. But I have no friends and I feel very lonely and alone. I always think people are judging me and I have no one to talk about all of this.

I'm now focusing on writing, on music, on photography (my main passions). I enjoy studying. I'm inspired by people such as Shantel Vansanten or different people like defenders of various causes. And I want to inspire. I try to support as many causes as I can.

And today, for the first time ever in my life, I realized that I can be proud of myself. Because after all those bad things that happened to me and that will happen to me, I never gave up on life.

I could have tried to commit suicide. I could have self-harmed, or even been depressed but I did not. I keep believing in the beauty of life, I keep hoping. I stay positive and ambitious.

I don't know what gives me that power. Maybe it does come from my mom or dad's strength, or from my faith in God. Perhaps it comes from the quotes I read or the moments like meeting my idols I lived, or the music I listen to, or maybe the stories I read which make me dream. I don't know where I find reasons to smile to life but those reasons certainly exist.

I want to point out the fact that using your problems as excuses is not a thing to do. I never did, in fact I could have so many times. And no matter what you're going through it does get better, IT WILL EVENTUALLY! I promise you'll find a way to get over it.

Life is a gift and a dream and you can't mess it all up. You just need to find the beauty of life.

And love is how I see the beauty of life. Be grateful and positive please!