The Craigisms.com Relationship Triangle ©2011

by Craig Mercier
(Lewiston, ME)

www.craigisms.com

INTRODUCTION

Many people ask "What is the key to a successful relationship?". Well throughout the years I have observed many relationships and asked many questions. The most common answers seem to be Trust, Communication and Honesty otherwise known as MY "Relationship Triangle". Feel free to check out the other blogs to see a little bit about what I feel makes up each of these components.

You will see the three keys in the Triangle of a Relationship clearly are Honesty, Communication and Trust. If your relationship even lacks one of these your triangle is not complete. The unlikelihood of the relationship being successful greatly decreases. Both parties must have the three keys. You can't have one person who has trust and the other not. A relationship will only work when both parties are willing to make the effort. I hope this helps those who are curious as to why relationships in the past have not worked out. This is not the bible, this is not from some book, this is from real life experiences. After you have read this call your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or partner and tell them you love them. Sometimes just taking 30 seconds out of your day to tell someone you are thinking about them could turn a bad day good. Good luck.
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HONESTY

Honesty is the human quality of communicating and acting truthfully related to truth as a value. This includes listening, and any action in the human repertoire ó as well as speaking. The final key to the Triangle of a Relationship. Without honesty you can't have Trust. Relationships are all about being open with one another. The more honest you are in your answers than the more you can be trusted. Why would you want to hide secrets from your partner? Yes there are some secrets that you just can't talk about but 95% of them are a big part of whether a relationship will work or not. Would it be wise to tell your partner that you have had many sexual relationships? Would it wise to tell your partner you have a disease?

Your ability to be honest with your partner can greatly affect how long the relationship will last. If there is something you don't like about your partner, tell them. If there is something they do you don't like, tell them. How would you know you are doing wrong if no one tells you? Don't get me wrong sometimes you will be asked questions that there is no right answer to. For example "Do I look fat in this dress?". Men you won't win that one. No matter how you answer it you will lose 99% of the time. Honesty can get you in trouble but there are those who respect honesty. Those are hard to come by but there are people out there that respect you being honest when they ask you a question. Now keep in mind that being honest can also cause relationships to end. This has nothing to do with being honest it has to do with you being stupid. If you cheat one someone don't expect honesty to help you. If you do something illegal don't expect honesty to help you their either. It may help you in court but you still have to pay the consequences for doing it. Be open, be honest, be truthful and you relationship will sore to new heights.
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COMMUNICATION

Communication is the most important part of the key in the Triangle of a Relationship. What is communication? Is email a form of communication? Is talking on the phone a form of communication? Communication can take many forms and is the grounds for a successful relationship. Without communication there is no relationship. How do you know why someone is sad if you don't ask them? Why is he/she angry at you if you talk to them?

As human beings we communicate 90% of the time through verbal and nonverbal communications. The other 10% we do through electronic or paper means. No this is not being taken from a book this is based on my observations. You have to set aside time to sit down and talk to your partner. It's a very important key to getting to know one another. How are you going to know what he/she likes or dislikes if you don't talk about it? The more we communicate the more we understand why things happen and why we react the way we do.

For example you come home one day and find your partner sitting in the living room with his/her hands on his head and crying. Do you assume something is wrong? Is he/she sad? The only way to find out is to communicate. Ask them what's wrong? In some cases they won't want to talk about it so don't force them. If it was me I would sit down beside them and give them a hug. Tell them I am here for you if you need me. When you are ready to talk let me know. Forcing someone to talk about something could only worsen the situation. Sometimes just knowing there is someone out there that cares is enough to get someone to open up about the problem. I personally do not enjoy seeing people sad. It makes me sad when my friends, family or partner is sad. You know you have a true connection with someone when you begin to feel the same pain they are having. This is why communication is key. Without communication all you have is world occupied only by you.
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TRUST

What defines trust. I believe it takes both parties trusting one another for it to work. Constantly calling him/her when they are not around to see what is going on is not trust. Checking up on him/her while they are out with friends is not trust. Trusting someone is being able to be apart without worrying about something happening. There should be no problem with her going out with her friends. If you have trust, you know that she will always be coming home to you and would never fool around with someone else.

The same goes for guys going out with their buddies. I can't stand it when people turn around and say, "its not that I dont' trust you its I dont' trust them". That is an excuse that is so overused. You can't blame other people for your trust issues. If he/she wanted to do something with them thats their decision not the other person's. It takes two to tango. Trust one another and there will be no jealousy. Trust one another and there will fewer arguments. Trust is only one key in the Triangle of a Relationship. If you lack this ability then you relationship could potentially fail.